Wouldn't be caught dead wearing a bicycle mirror?
Think about it.
Want to save somebody's life? Tell your fashion-captive friends that it won't kill their cool style to wear a Beer View bicycle mirror. Here's some logic they might appreciate.
(Brand name cannot be specified at this price)
TOP 10 REASONS TO
WEAR A BEER VIEW BICYCLE MIRROR:
10. You finally have a good use for all those beer bottle caps lying around the floor, you pig you.
9. People might actually talk to you. Be not afraid.
8. When you take your sunglasses off at the end of your ride, you'll be reminded to continue your carb-loading with another cool one from the fridge.
7. You can confidently ride further out into the lane, because you can see when a car is approaching from behind. (Riding further from the edge of the road will help you avoid getting "doored" by a parked car or endo'd by a small animal darting from the side of the road to get caught in your spokes.)
6. You can see if anybody's behind you trying to turn right at the stop light...without spinning your head around exorcist-style. (Many drivers want to drive right over you if you get in their way for more than 5 seconds. Your mirror and a little cordiality can make them calm down enough to start taking their medication again.)
5. If you really must roll through that stop sign (NOT RECOMMENDED!!!), you can more easily check to see if a cop is coming up behind you.
4. That sweet little 87-year-old lady barreling down on you won't get the chance to make you a hood ornament because you've got your Beer View eye on her.
3. You can spot that weenie who's trying to catch up with you when he's 100 meters back. This allows you to ease up a bit until he's about 5 meters away, when you commence to smoke him without ever looking back. ALTERNATIVE: If it seems like that weenie is going to kick your ass if you try to race him/her up the hill, then shift to a very low gear as the rider approaches, pull one cleat out, and do one-legged pedal strokes at a slow pace, pretending that's what you're on the hill for. This surgically removes the massive pride they might have had if they passed you while you were really trying.
2. Uhhh...it might save your life.
1. The "studs" who think they're the fastest thing on the road will assume you're a slow, out-of-shape recreational rider. So, watching them fade to a speck behind you on the next hill will keep you smiling for the rest of the ride. (OK, maybe you are a slow, out-of-shape recreational rider like I am...but you've gotta try! Also see alternative reason #3.)
